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Here, five Torontonians tell their stories. A year-old hotel concierge, athlete and actor who lives in St. Sports became my escape. I started playing baseball when I was eight and continued through my teens. I spent the rest of my free time holed up in my bedroom, watching reruns of Friends and Seinfeld , and wishing I could trade places with the characters onscreen.

I moved to Toronto when I was 22, without a job lined up or a place to live. It was an act of desperation: I needed to transition from male to female, and I thought it might be easier in a big city.

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I spent a lonely week in a dingy hotel near the airport, then broke down in tears and called my mother. She just looked sad and confused. A few days later, she returned home. And I got on my feet. At night, I tried to muster the courage to go out in public wearing makeup and a dress. Most evenings, I stayed glued to my couch. I was trapped in my apartment and in a body I despised.

After a few years of trying, I lost the will to transition. I found a bachelor apartment at Carlton and Jarvis, and got a job working the front desk at a nearby hotel. I was pleasant but distant with my colleagues, never venturing beyond small talk. I spent the better part of the next decade going through the motions: I had no friends, no joy, no reason to care if I woke up the next day. The one thing that kept me going was my weekly theatre class.

I made my stage debut in a play called The Splits , then did a few independent films and even some national commercials. As I got more involved in the acting world, I made deeper connections. One friend in particular became a mentor to me. With his encouragement, I signed up for night classes at Ryerson. Then I joined a dodgeball league. Soon I was getting out and meeting people, spending less time lost in my thoughts. As my confidence grew, so did my courage.

In my late 30s, I started flirting with the idea of transitioning again. The world had changed in the 15 years since my first attempt. Now I could open my laptop and connect with people whose personal struggles mirrored my own. By my 37th birthday, I was living a double life: during the week, I kept up my male disguise. On weekends, I hit the town with my new trans friends, moonlighting as myself.

Eventually, I got tired of taking off my nail polish on Sunday nights. In the summer of , I decided to live full-time as a woman. I took a four-month medical leave from work, and in December I made my professional debut at the staff Christmas party. I entered the room wearing jeans, makeup and a fitted blouse. My heart was beating out of my chest, but I also felt empowered. There were some shocked faces, but almost everyone was friendly and curious. I left feeling euphoric. Working in customer service is hard. My mother is supportive now—we talk on the phone at least once a week.

Savannah Burton

In the world of competitive dodgeball, trans athletes need to provide legal documentation proving their gender. I get typecast a lot. One of the last auditions I had was for the part of a homeless prostitute on the Canadian crime show 19—2. But things are improving—there are more trans people on TV today than ever before. I still find it hard to leave my apartment sometimes. I came out as trans in , two weeks after my 30th birthday.


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I was in the second year of my PhD at U of T and the first few months of a new research position at St. When I was a child, my femaleness felt like an immutable fact, like my blood type or the colour of my eyes. My parents named me Ilona. I loved skateboarding and hanging out with my guy friends, but I also had long hair and enjoyed wearing dresses. It never occurred to me to question whether or not I was a girl. In my 20s, that started to change. I felt like there was a boy living inside me, but I had no idea what that meant.

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All I knew was that it made me different, and I just wanted to blend in. The year after I introduced myself as Alex was hell. My parents had struggled to accept me as a lesbian, but they found it even more difficult to accept me as trans. It was a professional coup but a personal nightmare. I tried to ensure that journalists used the correct pronouns to describe me. Taking public transit was torture. Strangers gawked at me, trying to figure out if I was male or female. The sneers made me feel worthless, but I was afraid to masculinize my appearance through hormones or surgery.

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